How to Make Butter

I knew I'd abandoned the Spork but I didn't realize how bad it was until I saw my last post was back in October. OCTOBER! Have I not cooked nearly every night since then? Have no recipes been new? Do I have no travel adventures to share? The answer is "No" ( at least I think it is...I get confused with all those double negatives.) What I'm trying to say is, sorry, dudes. I've missed you. Can we still be friends?

You'll be happy to know that I've been baking more since we last met... not that I've been successful or anything ( pssst...if you're making bread this holiday season be sure to remember the baking powder. Especially if said bread is intended as a hostess gift...) Oh, and I've gained five pounds...that might actually coincide with the wee bit of knowledge I shall impart to you today.

Ready for it?

Okay. Prepare yourself to be hailed as chef extraordinaire when you bust out this culinary skill.

Yes, friends, I'm talking about making the butter. Just imagine yourself at your next holiday potluck...

Relative: "Mmmm, I just love Grandma's mashed potatoes. Oh, what did you make this year?"

You: "Me??? Why, I made a little something called THE BUTTER!"

Just don't tell anyone how easy it was and you'll totally be in the clear from helping with the dishes. Here's what you do:

Photo Credit: GwenElliott on Flickr ( Can you believe I didn't snap my own pic?) Thanks, GwenElliott-- beautiful shot.

Butter

Yields a 1/2 cupish

1 cup Heavy Whipping Cream ( the fresher and colder, the better)

1/2 to 1 tsp of kosher salt ( it all depends on how salty you like your butter.)

Special equipment: Food Processor and Fine mesh strainer or cheesecloth

1. Add cream and salt to food processor fitted with blade.

2. Constantly pulse the heck out of it. Seriously, first it will look like whipped cream followed by supremely thick whipped cream. It will trick you for a little while and you might give up on it, but don't. Keep it going. All the sudden, the thick cream will slosh and clumps of curds will separate from the liquid. I'm told the liquid is buttermilk but I really don't know. I'm concerned about butter here, people.


3. Discard the liquid and strain the curds through the cheesecloth or mesh strainer, pushing or squeezing out all liquid. Place in a ramekin or small bowl.

At this point, you could fold in seasonings or herbs or whatever strikes your fancy. I like it plain in all it's creamy goodness. Served immediately if a whipped texture is desired or form and chill.

Pretty easy, huh? You won't even break a sweat and you'll reap all the benefits of hours spent churning away. It kinda makes you feel like you should exercise to make up the difference. But, then again, why do that when you can consume mass quantities of homemade butter? The world makes sense again.

Pumpkin Pie Balls

I decided to make cake balls again to take to our annual family hayride a couple weeks ago. Call me crazy because apparently I forgot how time consuming they can become. Call me awesome because I stumbled upon an even better recipe than my last attempt. I was looking for something thoroughly fall/hayride appropriate and Bridget at Bake at 350 totally came through for me. She calls these delicious autumn wonders "Pumpkin Spice Cake Balls" but I found that when adapted a tad, they can come out with the consistency of pumpkin pie. Okay, okay, "adapted" means I accidentally used a whole can of pumpkin instead of 1 cup and my cake fell because it was super thick and dense. Guess what? It turned out great. Since it was so moist, I added a 1/2 a can of cream cheese versus the standard full can and the sweetness and texture was spot on.

Here's my adapted recipe for Pumpkin Pie Balls
(Makes about 4-5 dozen balls)

1 box French Vanilla cake mix

1 full can of pumpkin ( not pumpkin pie blend- just straight up canned pumpkin)

2 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp ground ginger

1/8 tsp allspice

1/8 tsp freshly grated nutmeg

3/4 cup water

1/3 cup canola oil

4 large eggs

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1/2 can cream cheese frosting

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chocolate candy melts or almond bark

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Nuts, sprinkles, grated coconut, or reserved almond bark for decorating ( optional)

1. Beat all top section ingredients until blended and bake according to package instructions in a 13x9 pan. Cake should rise and toothpick should come out clean from center. However, since the cake is extra dense, it will fall when removed from the oven.

2. Allow cake to cool enough to handle. Crumble and smoosh the cake together- it will be pretty mushy. Add 1/2 can of cream cheese frosting and blend well. NOTE: I don't know why but I really prefer Duncan Hines cream cheese to Pilsbury. The Pilsbury one tastes like plastic cotton candy. Is that just me?

3. Shape into bite size balls and place on a parchment lined baking sheet ( you'll probably need a few.) Chill in the fridge for at least an hour. You want these to be pretty cold.

4. Melt almond bark or chocolate melts however you like but not over a direct flame. 10-15 second intervals in the microwave works well. Or, you can put a mixing bowl in a a stock pot to steam water in order to melt them. I'm pretty sure there's an actual piece of equipment for this but why buy one more thing?

I bought lousy bark from the convenience store because I thought I had some but I didn't and I didn't want to drive all the way to the Wal-Mart and get suckered into buying forty more things. Lousy bark or overheated bark may require the addition of shortening to loosen things up a bit. Add in small spoonfuls if needed until it is a smooth consistency that will easily coat your pie balls.

5. Remove balls from the fridge and individually dunk into the almond bark using a fork to remove from the bowl and a spoon to toss chocolate over the top. The use of a toothpick is very handy for replacing the ball back on the parchment paper. You can see a great example of this technique in action courtesy of P-dub here.

6. If decorating with loose bits like nuts or sprinkles, top while the chocolate is still tacky. If decorating with piped almond bark, wait until the chocolate coating is fully set.

I prefer these chilled but I also hate warm pie so, there ya go. I'd use your pie preferences as a guide here because, they aren't cake-like in texture at all. One last piece of advice...if you want any of these for yourself, hide them. I only got one.

How to Grate Fresh Coconut

It's been a month since my last post and really even longer since I've been inspired to get creative in the kitchen. I tried so very hard to push myself to make something new but I just kept falling back to the comforts ( we had a lot of chicken potato burritos...)

So, it took our latest themed dinner party to break me out of my shell.

Ahhh, Indian Food night. I'd been looking forward to this theme for forever. I selected an amazing recipe for Southern Spiced Lahori Chicken Curry from Indian Home Cooking by Suvir Saran and Stephanie Lyness and I'd already sent Aubrey to the city to get all the unique ingredients. I was all ready to go except I forgot to get unsweeted grated coconut. No prob, they always have that junk at the Wal-Mart, so off I went.

I was wrong. There was no grated coconut to be found other than the severely sweetened version of which I despise. Oh, but wait... could they? Do they? YES, they do have real, actual, whole coconuts. Leave it to my Wal-Mart to finally come through with an off the wall item. I had no other choice.

I bought the little dude.

Now, I realize this isn't exactly a seasonal post. People are usually thinking about coconuts when it's a little bit warmer outside. As for me, it's the middle of fall and I need me some coconut. I put on some N'Sync to psych myself up and set out trying to figure out how to conquer the coconut. Fortunately, Indian Home Cooking has some suggestions as to how to crack into these babies.

Step one: They say to get a screwdriver or a sharpening steel to poke into the "eyes" in order to drain the coconut juice. HA! I say...

Step two: Pour out the juice or save to make a "lovely, sweet and very refreshing drink."

Psssh. I only had six hours until showtime.

Step three: "Bake the coconut in a 350 degree F oven to make the white flesh pull away from the brown husk." Sure, how long? Wait...it doesn't say!!! I went with 25 minutes.

Step four: Wrap the coconut in a towl and bang on it with a hammer to split it open...can do.

Look at that! It smelled deliciously toasty and I felt like such a success. Except, now's probably a good time to tell you that there was actually a second coconut partaking in this process. Just incase I screwed up on the time I left the second one in for about 35 minutes. This is what happened:

Oh, and that delicious toasty smell? Replace that with roasted windex and you've got an idea of how foul this was. I'm not quite sure if it was rotten to begin with or if the ten extra minutes did it in. Either way, 25 minutes worked great so I'd rather not try 35 again. Into the trash this went. Now, onward!

Step five: Use a flathead screw driver to separate the white flesh from the hard shell. (Not as easy as it sounds but doable... have no fear if it breaks away in small pieces. Oh, and it takes some force.)

Step six: Use a vegetable peeler to peel off the thin layer of brown skin.

Step seven: Grate on a grater or in a food processor--- ( use the processor- you've earned a break by now.)

And, that's pretty much it. It was actually much easier than I expected...not that I want to do this everyday or anything. One coconut yeilds a sandwich baggy full of freshly grated coconut. I only needed 1/2 cup so I froze the rest. In the end, the N'Sync tunage seemed much more appropriate for the task at hand...it just tried to seem tough.

She's ALIVE!!!!

Apparently, I'm not destined to blog this month. But, hey, my whole point in writing this here blog is to allow myself to unabashedly lust for travel and food from around the world. Since I've actually been doing some of that stuff lately, I haven't had time to pine for it. I'm in it!

Needless to say, I haven't been cooking much for the last few weeks either and it doesn't look like that trend is gonna end anytime soon. Miami Little Theatre's "The Sound of Music" begins at the Coleman Theater tomorrow night and I bear the title of "dresser" this time. That is, I get to help 7 kids through 9 costume changes one of which happens in less than a minute flat. But that's beside the point! The point is as soon as I get a break, I'm back baby. Then you'll get to hear all about what I've been up to, how Aubrey caught the biggest fish ever, how I'm the worst barterer in history and how my bud Tasha did a town OTHER THAN Tulsa...

Eating in Santa Fe Pt. 1: The Santa Fe Farmer's Market

Sorry again for the hiatus. I'm sorta lousy at blogging and traveling at the same time. Great quality to have for a travel blog, I'm sure. Also, sometimes, I get too hungry to photograph and document my food adventures which makes content a bit of a challenge.... that's another story though that involves the fact that I have no flash and tend to cook at night. Gah!

Anyway, point is, we've been hittin' the road pretty hard these days. Last weekend, we went to Santa Fe for a fishing/shopping getaway with pals Kevin and Sindy. Last time I was in Santa Fe, Aubrey got food poisoning. This time, he got sick in advance. I'm not quite sure what it is with him and traveling west on I-40. Something deep within him rebels. Either way, he doped up and recovered nicely which made for a pretty fab trip.

Now, onto the delciousness...

I know, I know- how can I write that Aubrey contracted food poisoning last time and recommend great eats in the same post, right? It's real easy. I'll start with what NOT to eat...and that would be McDonald's New Mexican inspired Green Chile Double Cheeseburger. Just don't do it.

Instead, get the real deal. Santa Fe is known for it's roast hatch green chile and you can get a pretty good whiff of it throughout downtown where roasters are turning their roasting aparatuses like mad men. I have no idea what these spinner things are called ( roasters perhaps?)...I just know they work.

Sindy and I got our chile in the form of fresh baked Green Chile bread from the Intergalactic Bread Company. They're featured in the current issue of Edible Santa Fe and known for their free form loaves made with locally grown ingredients. Oh, and, you can only get it if you travel to New Mexico- they only sell it at farmers markets in Santa Fe, Los Alamos, and Taos. So, since we were there and all...we got some. Of course.

But we didn't stop there.

The Santa Fe Farmer's Market is sprawling with vendors boasting goods of all varieties and colors. For instance, I learned that there are at least seven different types of eggplants and probably more...

Likewise, I've never seen so many different types of tomatoes in my life.



That's B & B Farms of La Mesilla, New Mexico ( thanks for the hand modeling) and they had some pretty amazing cherry tomatoes that we snatched up. They also had the BEST blackberries I've ever had in my life. I sampled one and they said, "I bet you'll have to buy some" and they were right. I bought some, promptly ate them, and snuck back for a few more "free" samples-yeah, they're pretty much crackberries.

With bread and tomatoes, all we needed was a little cheese (aged cheddar made with goat's milk, to be exact) and we had ourselves a fine lap lunch. We walked around for a while to find the perfect bench on which to sit and enjoy it. I think we made a great selection.

Entertainment in St. Louis- Herbaria Soaps (WINNER UPDATED)

Okay, so soap making may not be the first thing that comes to mind for entertainment in St. Louis. Afterall, there are plenty of pro-sports teams, cool jazz joints, and other rambunctious activties. Nevertheless, I highly recommend you check out Herbaria, a little soap company on The Hill where scents of lavender and peppermint win the sensory battle of a ten foot section of the charming streets, leaving you clammering to get into the door for a better whiff. And, whiff you may...

There are plenty of sniffs to go 'round like those of Lycopene Tomato, Indonesian Safflower, and Patchouli Hemp ( to name a few.) You can even pick up some incredible handmade soap dishes to hold it all in.

The cool thing is, they give tours of how everything is made and are completely welcoming.

I love that every product is made independently and free of chemicals- we're talking pure vegetable goodness here. I also love that Herbaria granted me my first "paid" photography gig- trade photos for their website for free soap and THAT, friends, is a gift I'm passing along to you.

All you have to do is leave a comment telling me what recipe you'd like me try and make next and you're entered to win a bar of Avocado Lemon soap!

"What? You're giving away a bar of soap??" This isn't just any soap, people. Husby will attest to the quality and let me just say, he doesn't give a flip about soap...usually. The Herbaria Licorice Bar has him won over for good. I really wish I liked black licorice because it makes the entire bathroom smell like it. That's some good soap.

They were slicing up freshly made Avocado Lemon bars while we were there so this is your chance to get a piece of it.

Winner will be randomly drawn using random.org and announced on Thursday morning ( 8.27.09) I'll accept entries until the very moment I get up on Thursday morning ( around 7:00ish, give or take a snooze.)

Now go come up with something good for me to make!

UPDATE: April!- You are the lucky winner of a bar of Avocado Lemon Soap! Random.org had the harrowing job of randomly picking 1-4 entries and you got it. Congrats. Now, go take a shower.

Eating in St. Louis- Guido's Pizza and Tapas

When we weren't risking rash and arrest in St. Louis last weekend, we went on a normal bike ride through one of my favorite neighborhoods of St. Louis known as The Hill District. The Hill is a predominantly Italian community populating roughly 50 square blocks south of downtown where Italian immigrants began to settle as early as the mid-1800s.

I love the character of the streets from the green bricked buildings and uniquely painted doors to the prideful fire hydrants and people walking around with bread. And, oh yeah... that's pizza you're smelling in the air...

Never come to The Hill on a full stomach. I mean, that's just crazyness. In fact, you might want to skip breakfast to make some more room for the tasty deliciousness to be had all around. We decided to try out Guido's Pizza and Tapas as it's rated one of St. Louis Magazine's Best 35 restaurants. Oh, and because it's perfect for the person who can't make up their mind ( like, me, for instance.)

The menu is extensive and decidedly diverse, ranging from albondigas to calamari, homemade lasagna to mediterranean mussels. Though I'm sure the tapas are great, you don't go to a mexican place to order a cheeseburger and you don't go to The Hill to eat anything other than Italian. That's as far as my decision making got us, though.

We started with drinks and a salad to share with the house vinagrette and provel cheese while we studied our options. Mmmmm....

Ultimately, when I was about to order a cheese pizza and some lasagna, we saw this massive plate of pasta go by and had to have it to share.

The tortellini was filled with a blend of veal and pork served in a buttery cream sauce and topped with peas, pruscutto, and freshly grated parmesean. You know how sometimes Italian restaurants shoot for rich and just end up salty? This was spot on rich. We were in Italian heaven. And, don't be fooled by all the sharing... we left fully stuffed and satisfied with food left on the plate all for under $25.00. Seriously, it's worth a trip to St. Louis just for this.

2009 World Naked Bike Ride- St. Louis (NSFW)

Let me just start with the answer to your question...

Aubrey's buttcheeks are just fine.

And, YES, he did ride completely naked if you don't count the wig, tie, and shoes. ( We felt the tie added a touch of class, don't you think?)

Photo by Egan O'Keefe

Hundreds of people turned out for the cause, which was largely to protest big oil, car dependency, negative body image and, well, clothes.

The pre-ride festivities began at Tower Grove Park ( a very appropriate Victorian-style garden) in the heart of St. Louis. After nightfall and once everyone was sufficientyly painted and nude, the riders beat a path that led them past hundreds of cheering spectators (most supportive) and ended with a bash at the Atomic Cowboy. All fears of arrest were abandoned when it was evident the police were cooperative- They even gave the riders a full escort most of the way, resulting in the most naked "naked bike ride" to date in the city.

I expected hilarity and fun but what I didn't expect was the level of community, trust, and general appreciation for mankind. No one was out to judge, everyone was super kind and even as out of towners, we were instantly welcomed. It was actually extremely refreshing. Still, I wasn't about to bare it all- I'm not a pilgrim, I swear! I'm just keeping all my options open for becoming the President someday. I did help out, though...

I met (and painted) an older woman who said she had made it a point every year of her life to do something new and wild. I was completely impressed and inspired. I'd never painted anyone's naked body before so I figure I can just count that experience and keep my clothes on.

It took Aubrey a good 30 minutes to warm up to the idea of the breeze he'd soon be feeling. Mid-strip down he turned some heads and got a little media attention ...

This was for the St. Louis local alternative news, River Front Times. You can check out his interview here. Later in the video, you can see his naked butt go by in the background...

While everyone is concerned about the state of Aubrey's buttcheeks, the questions I'm getting asked the most are" How could you stand someone else seeing your husband naked?" or "you let him be around naked women??!?!?!" with nervous laughter and condemnation from a hundred generations of wives before me. Is there something I'm missing here? I'm just not seeing a problem.

The last thing the naked bike ride was about was sexuality... it was a celebration of humanity

I decided to put some skills from the Tulsa Digital Photography Group to work on photographing strangers. If you came to this post from the card I gave you, thanks for modeling for me! Message me for copies of your portraits.

Wondering why I didn't post any REALLY naked pics? This blog is shy. =)

(This blog is also practicing the golden rule for naked pics posted on the web. Fingers crossed, eh?)

Got Anything Fun Happening This Weekend?

Well, do ya? That's the question that starts popping up late Thursday afternoon with an all day blast come Friday morning when you work it office style. Usually, my response is a mix of, "Not really...I finally get to relax at home" or "Yeah, we're going to Tulsa..."- sometimes I give the same answer in the same day, to the same person.

This weekend is different...

It's a weekend to separate the men from the boys...

In fact, this weekend will be recounted again and again through the course of our ENTIRE LIVES....

This weekend, my husband will be riding a bicycle in downtown St. Louis, bare-ass naked.

That's right. When Aubrey commits to living life adventurously, he does it in style. Birthday suit style.

When he heard the 2nd annual World Naked Bike Ride would have an event in St. Louis- close enough to get to but not close enough to be recognized- he was all over it. I'm pretty sure he has a secret quest to build the most embarrassing portfolio of experiences to torment the kids we will one day acquire... and he's succeeeding. But, is there another point to having kids?

It takes a while to appreciate the humor of, say, getting locked out of the house naked or, puking when you think the relish your dad just smeared on your face is actually a booger. But, you know? I think I get it. Not quite ready to relive the public nudity thing yet, though... so, I will NOT be riding naked. I don't think my butt cheeks can handle a ten mile ride in the nude. I don't think Aubrey's buttcheeks can handle it either but he's having none of that talk of talcum powder.

I still haven't figured out why anyone would do this of their own free will. I'd have to be double dog dared and then I'd still flake out. "When else could you ride your bike naked down the street?" is all Aubrey has to say about it. I've safely never actually wondered when it might be appropriate for me to do that. But, I've got to see it. Will I see you there? Got anything fun happening this weekend?

Zucchini Bread

My heightened awareness and possession of zucchini this season has led me to seek out many ways to make it. Zucchini and squash stir fry can only take me so far and, after the massive chicken and zucchini failure, I was on a hunt for something new and different that I could master. So, of course, I had to set out trying zucchini bread when a friend suggested I make it with this giant zucchini I'd acquired. (I should have taken a picture of it next to my head for perspective...)

I wasn't immediately sold on the idea...I mean, banana and pumpkin, yes, but whoever heard of zucchini bread? I entertained visions of providing my bread to unsuspecting receptacles... "Oh, wow, that's delicious" they would say. "What is that making my taste buds swoon?" Then I would squeal out, "It's...It's... Z-Z-ZUCCHINI!!!" and all would herald me as a creative extraordinaire. MUhahahaha.

Very quickly, my dreams were crushed. Sadly, everyone and their mother has had zucchini bread in my town except for me. Even MY MOTHER said she used to make it all the time and she's not even from my town. Oh, and, the above scenario is based on a very optimistic view that I wouldn't burn the thing. Yet, I was still set on making it depite the fact that my bud bailed on providing the recipe. Plus, I was pretty determined to find someone who hadn't had it before.

I came across this foundational piece at allrecipes.com and modified it resulting in less fat and full deliciousness. I reduced the sugar and used half white and half brown. I swapped half the oil for applesauce and to make up for what I feared would be a loss in moistness, I added an additional cup of grated zucchini. Hey, I had to get my tricks in there somewhere and, guess what? It was a winning combo by all accounts - even from experienced zucchini bread eaters. I'll definitely be making this again ( especially since the zucchini supply hasn't diminished at all)

Zucchini Bread ( adapted from Mom's Zucchini Bread and Allrecipes.com) Makes 2 loaves ( one to eat- one to share!)

3 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
3 teaspoons ground cinnamon
3 eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil 1/2 cup applesauce
1 cup white sugar 1 cup brown sugar
3 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 cups grated zucchini
1 cup chopped walnuts

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Butter 2 8x 4 inch loaf pans.

2.Sift flour, salt, baking powder, soda, and cinnamon together in a bowl.
Beat eggs, oil, applesauce, vanilla, brown and white sugar together in a large bowl. Add sifted ingredients to the creamed mixture, and beat well. Stir in zucchini and nuts until well combined. Pour batter into prepared pans.

3. Bake for 40 to 60 minutes, or until toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool in pan on rack for 20 minutes. Remove bread from pan, and completely cool.

4. Deliver second loaf to the neighbor but don't tell them it's zucchini bread, just in case they haven't had it before.

Score! They hadn't had it. Mission complete.